I love Hawaii! (ESPECIALLY when my dh takes all three of my children and my dog back to clean our house and leaves me at the Hilton to sun and shop!) It was a much needed relaxing day! Here is the view from my lanai (um... porch or patio to you mainlanders?) LOL!
Not that I spent too much time there... too busy by the pool or in the shops! LOL!
So, now to the "bathroom humor" so be forewarned, if you're offended by, well... how do I put this delicately? Fart jokes? LOL!! Then perhaps you should stop reading, but me? OMGosh... no matter how old I get or how hard I try to be "grown up" and proper, gas and everything about it makes me laugh! (ok ok...now you know my dirty little secret! LOL!)
So anyway Kami (fellow Scrap Orchard owner) and I are chatting tonight on the phone...
and she tells me that her dd said the funniest thing recently (sorry, you'll have to go to KAMI'S BLOG to read that story! LOL) and I had to share with her one of my personal favorites! So we thought, for those of you...who like us... find inappropriate humor HYSTERICALLY funny... we'd both share! LOL
So my dd Emily (who is now 14 and will simply DIE that I'm telling you this) was around Kami's daughter's age she and I were walking hand in hand in a parking lot. Out of nowhere my dear sweet baby girl absolutely let one rip... like... loudly.. so loudly in fact that it startled her! LOL! she whipped around and looked behind her... clearly surprised that such a sound had come from her... and said (with the most hysterically funny and nearly frightened face) "Mommy! My butt made noise!!"
Ladies... I nearly wet myself laughing at her! Literally! I laughed and laughed (and frankly... am still laughing at the memory of it) and to this day... in our family, you'll often hear the words... "awwww (fill in the blank) did your butt make noise?"
Ha ha ha!! So come on ladies... you know you have them... a funny "butt noise" story...share them in the comments and make us all laugh inappropriately!! Then go read Kami's blog post (and darn it...she better actually blog about it or I'll look incredibly silly won't I? ha ha ha!!)
Aloha!
11 comments:
LOL, you all are too funny.
Don't know which story is better. I'd share a story but with four boys, DH and an old dog in the house the farting has become a daily routine, so no surprising stories here.
Oh, and I'm so jealous of your gorgeuos view. The view from my "lanai" happens to be the cemetary across the street. Not a view I would look forward to visiting. LOL. Although it's an old cemetary so the stones are rather interesting. Anyway, I much rather have your view!
Okay, I'll join in. I am a registered nurse. For 25 years I worked on a regular medical floor, mostly taking care of elderly sick people. So dealing with bodily functions is no biggie to me. However, this one still has me cracking up. I was caring for a very petite, well-put-together little old lady. She was VERY prim and proper. She was sitting in her chair and wanted to go back to bed while her doctor was there. So as he and I were starting to assist her out of the chair she let loose with a HUGE stinker. Without a pause, without embarrassment, with a straight face she simply said, "Oops, stress fart". That doctor and I couldn't hold back the laughter, neither of us expected the sound or the words from this little lady. So around our house from now on, if someone makes a little, um, noise as the arise from the chair, the words "oops, stress fart" are spoken.
No funny story to share... Just that both you and Kami almost had me peeing my pants!!!
OMG, TOO funny! I have all boys, so you KNOW we have a whole lot of noise makin butts around here. We had gone to dinner at our favorite Chinese place & the folks there adore our 6 YO. I think it's his red hair. Anyway, the owner comes over & picks him up (he was 4 at the time) & kind of swings him around, the whole time Sean's lettin er rip. The guy puts him down & Sean starts laughing & hollering "I burped out of my BUTT!" The WHOLE place goes really quiet for a few minutes.
And of course we have the usualy blaming it others. lol
^^ LOL! My 3 year old daughter also "burps from her butt" -- too cute!!
My daughter let'er rip in church on a wooden pew. LOUD doesn't even describe the sound that came out of her little butt!! And If that weren't funny enough, she quickly and very loudly said "DADDY!" (talk about being thrown under the bus!!)
OMG, I am SO immature and was just cracking up. I felt so bad (especially since we were at the communion part of the service) but I couldn't stop, neither could the poor people sitting all around us. I'm surprised we weren't kicked out!
And in keeping with the theme, here is an e-card I sent my husband on his last birthday:
http://shells-cyber-spot.blogspot.com/2008/04/tommys-birthday.html
My daughter didn't blame Daddy for no reason. If farting were a sport my husband would hold the title for farts in ALL categories.
I'm such a lucky girl! LOL
You & Kami are brilliant! Thank u for the toilet humor - it's always the funniest for me lol!
My story involves a friend. My husband and I had eaten dinner with her and her husband at their house. After dinner we were all sitting around talking and watching TV.
Then my friend leaned over, and out came a loud fart. It startled her (and the rest of us, too).
Then she said, "Oops, I didn't know that was in there."
So the rest of us cracked up. And to this day, anytime my husband lets one out, he makes sure and says, "oops, I didn't know that was in there."
(and I plead the 5th on the whole matter, you know ladies don't pass gas...lol)
I love fart jokes...my sister and I live for them, we have actually gone around some places and when I bent down, she'd make the noise and we'd just crack up at ourselves, and one time we did it by a little boy and his Mommy (not intentionally) and his Mom says..."Billy (can't remember his name) do you have to go to the bathroom"....we almost died with laughter. Ok, so here's my little story, my DD who was 3 at time (and this wasn't so long ago) was standing behind me on my computer chair as I chatted with my nephew online, and she ripped one and without missing a beat, she IMMEDIATELY said "Mom, I farted like a Princess"...so to this day we all fart like royalty, I'm the Queen, Daddy's King, etc...! It's so much fun, until we get in the elevator (with others) and she does it and says "Mom, I farted like a Princess again". I love it, but have to admit, I turn a little pink! hahahaha
I must confess to being part of the 'finding farts funny' club. I have a 10 year old who is extremely proud of not only volume but smell. At 2 he was already lifting his leg to get more 'air'. My brother who is 36 still throws them at me.
As for my darling boy, his favourite is to let 'em rip in the car so I have to open ALL the windows in the truck and the roof.
OMG! Shauna you must tell them about the sign Emily found!!!
And I love all these stories!! I'm crackin' up!!
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