OMG... Shot for Utah... ended up in Tijuana???

OK, so right now dh, the kids, the dog and our 15 darn suitcases are in our Toyota Sienna driving through Death Valley and headed towards Las Vegas (isn't technology AMAZING??)

THE PLAN was to get off the plane this morning in LA, go to Kami's house for lunch, then head out for Richfield, Utah (half way point from LA to Denver) to spend the night and rest up for the drive to Denver... the plan was a good one, right up until we got to Kami's house and she and I had WAY too much fun (and frankly, after 10 days in a hotel I had WAY too much laundry) so "the plan" got off to a bit of a late start from Kami's, but dh and the kids got some good rest so that he could drive the 7 hours it was supposed to take to get to Richfield.

So we said our goodbyes (and then literally 2 blocks later turned around to pick up dd's ice cream sandwich she had left behind... SIGH) and headed out...

I should first tell you that JUST FOR THIS TRIP dh and I purchased a GPS for the car as it would be soooo much easier than reading a map the whole trip right? (you see where this is going don't you?) and no sooner did we leave Corona, CA and the GPS set us on our trip on I 15... VERY shortly thereafter the 18 hours of traveling with no sleep caught up with me and I fell asleep... I woke up briefly at some point to hear my dd Brittany ask her dad "Dad... did we just make a big circle?" I hear my dh's reply something to the effect of "no... the GPS just sent us on a short detour) and back I fell asleep.

Sometime later I head dh's quickly rising voice ask me to wake up... and I hear the words "Honey... I think I just saw signs for Corona, CA!!!" (the very SAME city that we had left over 2 and a half hours earlier!) Thinking that he was surely joking, I slowly woke up to find that he was pulling into a gas station, pulling out the Atlas and sending dd Emily into the Gas Station to get the address...(JUST SURE that despite what I was telling him that we were NOT somehow back in Corona having just driven in a circle for almost 3 hours?? LMBO!)

And yet, after a short discussion, look at the map and the dim memory of getting onto I 15 SOUTH out of Corona we realized that we somehow took the interstate in the WRONG direction right out of the gate and the GPS hadn't turned dh around until the darn interstate ENDED...

JUST SHORT OF TIJUANA, MEXICO!!!!

And that, dear friends is how we "Shot for Utah, and NEARLY ended up in Tijuana!

(the moral of the story? Um... when driving in an unfamiliar state at night, don't trust the GPS, while your co-pilot/wife is sleeping!?)

P.S. Kami, if you're reading this, I KNOW that you are laughing your BUTT off right now... please know that I tried to convince Chris to simply stop in Corona so that we could crash at your place,(would you not have JUST DIED if we had shown up at your door at 10:00 last night??) but I think his "man pride" prevented THAT from happening... as we speak it's 2:00 a.m. local time, we've JUST passed through Vegas and the plan is to drive STRAIGHT to Denver...

Um... could have been worse right? I could be lost somewhere deep in Mexico???
LMBO!!!

P.P.S... using my mobile broadband, a google image search for Tijuana and a little Photoshop magic THIS is my vision of how it might have been had the GPS allowed us to go just a LITTLE bit further south! he he he! (my dh is the one on the LEFT if you hadn't already guessed that! ha ha ha!!!)

Ahhh Hawaii (and some bathroom humor thrown in for a giggle)

I love Hawaii! (ESPECIALLY when my dh takes all three of my children and my dog back to clean our house and leaves me at the Hilton to sun and shop!) It was a much needed relaxing day! Here is the view from my lanai (um... porch or patio to you mainlanders?) LOL!






Not that I spent too much time there... too busy by the pool or in the shops! LOL!

So, now to the "bathroom humor" so be forewarned, if you're offended by, well... how do I put this delicately? Fart jokes? LOL!! Then perhaps you should stop reading, but me? OMGosh... no matter how old I get or how hard I try to be "grown up" and proper, gas and everything about it makes me laugh! (ok ok...now you know my dirty little secret! LOL!)

So anyway Kami (fellow Scrap Orchard owner) and I are chatting tonight on the phone...

BTW... HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAMI!!!!!!! (sorry, I had to put that in there! he he he!)

and she tells me that her dd said the funniest thing recently (sorry, you'll have to go to KAMI'S BLOG to read that story! LOL) and I had to share with her one of my personal favorites! So we thought, for those of you...who like us... find inappropriate humor HYSTERICALLY funny... we'd both share! LOL

So my dd Emily (who is now 14 and will simply DIE that I'm telling you this) was around Kami's daughter's age she and I were walking hand in hand in a parking lot. Out of nowhere my dear sweet baby girl absolutely let one rip... like... loudly.. so loudly in fact that it startled her! LOL! she whipped around and looked behind her... clearly surprised that such a sound had come from her... and said (with the most hysterically funny and nearly frightened face) "Mommy! My butt made noise!!"

Ladies... I nearly wet myself laughing at her! Literally! I laughed and laughed (and frankly... am still laughing at the memory of it) and to this day... in our family, you'll often hear the words... "awwww (fill in the blank) did your butt make noise?"

Ha ha ha!! So come on ladies... you know you have them... a funny "butt noise" story...share them in the comments and make us all laugh inappropriately!! Then go read Kami's blog post (and darn it...she better actually blog about it or I'll look incredibly silly won't I? ha ha ha!!)

Aloha!

Funny Lizard Story (well... NOT so funny for the Lizard actually....)

Ok, It's nearly 2:3o a.m. here in Hawaii and I've just received another "Tell us the truth Shauna, there really IS no funny lizard story... and if there is then you better give it up" email... SO here it is!

Although, after reading it (and especially if you are a lizard lover, you might not think it so funny...

Going to make the captions quick and let the pictures (a.k.a. PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE that I don't make this stuff up he he he) tell the story!

See DS... DS is happy!( having caught a lizard that had evaded DS's best attempts at capturing him for nearly 5 minutes in our front courtyard...)

See ds show off his new found lizard friend... ("Can we keep him mom? Pretty pretty pretty please?") please note the dirty filthy hands of ds...I wish I could say that under "normal" circumstances they are cleaner... unfortunately for me... these ARE normal circumstances when it comes to my dear dear ds...

See DS pet his new lizard friend... (yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck!)

See ds attempt to tease me with the lizard ("Move on son! If you know what's good for you... you will move on!")

See ds tease dh with the lizard (dh would want me to note here that he is NOT afraid of lizards... he simply does not LIKE lizards (insert me giggling a tiny bit here!)

See DS tease our Jack Russel, Kea with the lizard ("Be careful son! Kea is quick!)

See DS DROP the lizard and watch the lizard run... RUN LIZARD RUN!

See Kea beat DS to the lizard, then quickly run from ds and dh to enjoy his snack.... (eewwww! Notice the blurry photo as I run away from the carnage!)

*please note that no lizards were injured in the filming of this event (injured no... suffered worse fates? ummmmm...yes.)

*P.S. Please do not mention to dh that I have posted a picture of him in his "cleaning clothes" on the internet for everyone to see (he would soooo not be happy with that! LMBO!)

SO... THERE... there is TOO a funny lizard story (with pictures)! Ha! (now do you REALLY doubt that I have slept with cockroaches??!??)

And... since this IS a digital scrapbooking blog... I'll take this brief moment from our sponsors to tell you that there is a FABULOUS SALE going on at Scrap Orchard, with my entire store and infact the WHOLE entire store at 25% off ... and I even have a new kit in there that you all may have never seen! CHECK IT OUT! And while you're there, check out our first ever FARMER'S MARKET where everything there is only a single dollar!! (INCLUDING a new/revamped kit of mine!)

Nighty night ladies!

Shauna

3.8.08 Hawaiian Monk Seal at Ko'Olina

OK! OK! OK! Now stop your whining ALL of you, or I WON'T tell you the Hawaiian Monk Seal Story!! he he he...of course NOW it won't be nearly as funny after all the build up! LOL And hang in there, it might be long, but I think you'll find that my ultimate humiliation is worth the read...

Ok, so my favorite beach in all the world is about 5 minutes down the road for me and it's called Ko'Olina or "the lagoons" it's a series of 4 gorgeous natural lagoons on the leeward coast of Oahu (past Kapolei, before Waianae if you ever come to visit!) There is a Marriott resort there called Ihilani (sounds like EEE HA LAA NEE) and it's where all of the Pro Bowl Football players stay when they come for the game (if that tells you anything! LOL) It's also the spa that I would LOVE to go to...but sigh...sales must pick up QUITE a bit before that happens! LOL

Here's some pics that I've taken there (I believe these are both at Lagoon No. 4)

This picture is taken of the lagoon from the beach.

This picture was taken from behind the rocks that you see in picture no 1 above (on the right hand side) back up towards the beach.

So now that all of our furniture is gone, there's not a lot to do once the kids and dh are home for the evening so we've been heading to the beach most days and enjoying the GORGEOUS sunsets that dip below the horizon right smack dab in the middle of the lagoons. So the other night (the day of the infamous lizard incident) dh and I went to the lagoons by ourselves (the best is lounging on the beach with nooooo kiddies around begging to play or "look at me!" lol).

Ok, so right away after getting there, dh and I head in to swim. This lagoon is pretty small and most days when the tide is out you can nearly walk the length of the lagoon (not so in the others!) and dh wants to head toward the rocks that you see in picture no. 1 above. (The line of rocks that separate the lagoon from the open ocean). Now let me first say that I'm not a HUGE fan of slimy sea creatures, but for the most part they don't frighten me when they bump up against me. That said, the two exceptions would be jelly fish and crabs (yes, 3 if you count sharks, but duh...THAT'S a given!). And there are hundreds and hundreds of crabs that live in the rocks in the lagoons (ds Ethan LOVES to crawl up on there and catch them! Me? Not so much) so I am a bit leery to follow dh, I'd rather just float around and hang out...but I acquiesce, he is after all taking me to the beach without the kids! :)

So out we go towards the rocks and the water is getting deeper and deeper and then starts to shallow out a bit the closer we get to the rocks... just then I look up (taking my eyes off the bottom of the ocean JUST long enough to see it ) there is a HUGE Hawaiian Monk Seal sunning him or herself on the rocks right there in the lagoon!! Here's a picture of an Hawaiian Monk Seal (although not THIS particular one! LOL)



I think this one was a male simply because of it's size - it was HUGE - and they are so incredibly rare to see unfortunately, because they are one of the most endangered animal species in the world (less than 1,200 in the world!) so I was fascinated! I point him out to dh and we go in a bit closer to look without disturbing him.

As we get closer to him I'm trying to remember what I know about the seals and the one thing that I can absolutely remember is that they are gorgeous, but have been known to be aggressive with humans AND known to bite them! (Ok, hang in there we're getting to the funny part...LOL) So dh, who clearly has more sense than I, decides to hang back a bit, while I stupidly continue to advance.

I don't want to disturb this magnificent creature so I'm really quietly walking towards him and the water is getting more and more shallow when I realize (and say to myself)...oh yeah...there are a LOT of crabs around here...I don't want to get bit, that's right, I'm afraid of crabs"!!) so I CONTINUE to slowly walk toward the huge seal, but instead of keeping my eyes on him, I watch the floor of the ocean (hello...remember the crabs? and yes, it is VERY easy to see the floor of the ocean in our gorgeous clear Hawaiian waters if any of you were wondering!) And eewww! This is what a Hawaiian Swimming Crab looks like!!! Yuck!



Now the OTHER thing that I forgot about at this point is the "pull" or the undertow that is sometimes pretty strong near the rocks of the lagoon... in some lagoons at certain times of the year they actually rope off the rocks as the undertow is so strong that it can suck you right out of the lagoon if you're not careful.

Ok, are you following me still? Gorgeous HUGE and rare Hawaiian Monk Seal, Crabs, Undertow and silly me...any idea where this is going?

So as I'm tiptoeing out to the rock with the seal on it, NOT watching where I'm going (hello...still looking out for crabs) the undertow, unbeknownst to me is pulling me more and more quickly towards the rock, and therefore, the seal. Within no time at all...seconds really...yup you guessed it...BAM there's Shauna rammed right into the rocks and literally feet away from the rare, gorgeous, HUGE, potentially aggressive biting monk seal!!

Keep in mind that the WHOLE time I am walking towards this seal my dh keeps telling me "Shauna, I wouldn't get that close if I were you..." "Shauna, you're being silly..." "Shauna, come this way..." but do I listen? NO.

Editorial comment: If there are any Hawaiian Monk Seal activists reading this blog or members of Greenpeace or people who are thinking "shame on you Shauna!" this is an endangered animal...why would you disturb him!? I have only this to say... I SO did not mean to get so ^&#*! close to this animal! I simply wanted to get close enough to see his cute whiskers and take a good look at him!! I'm SORRY! And to make it up to him and to the other Hawaiian Monk Seals out there I am writing this cautionary tale for others to read and learn from!!! he he he!

Ok, back to my "cautionary tale" BAM! Shauna is pulled right into the darn rock! And several things happen almost instantaneously and simultaneously; ONE: I ram my shins and feet into sharp (very painful) rocks, TWO: Realizing (by the pain) that I have run into the rocks I immediately remember about the yucky "spider looking" crabs that I am now VERY close to, if not on top of, and I freak out - squealing like a little girl, THREE: the now, not so restful, Hawaiian Monk Seal, realizing that some idiot of a woman has bumped into his napping area, rears his head up and ROARS!!! LOUDLY... loudly enough to completely terrify the already crab-freaking-out-squealing-me into nearly wetting myself.

I am now desperately trying to push myself AWAY from the startled and, justifiably irritated, monk seal fearing now not just for my toes (from the crabs) but for my life!! (because, while the seal was in no way threatening to me at this point...hello!!! I don't know anything about how short this seal's temper is!

The tow is making my escape difficult and I turn to "run" still in the back of my mind trying to be mindful of the "yucky crabs" and I am SURE that at any given moment this huge seal is going to hop into the lagoon with me and take a bite out of my trespassing (not to mention somewhat meaty) backside!! I am literally almost ready to cry in fear when I look around to see where dh is...and where is my Airborne Ranger Light Infantry "hoo ah" dh?? Yup...back to me, swimming as quickly as HE can to get away!!! (the man is a triathlete ok?) and all I can think of, is him saying "hey babe... I don't have to be quicker than the attacking monk seal...I just have to be quicker than YOU!

With barely another look over my shoulder (I DO watch the movies ladies, and whenever the stupid woman is about to get eaten or slashed, she is FOREVER wasting her energy and time looking over her darn shoulder!)

Finally outside of the undertow, and swimming as quickly as this old body will let me, I swam towards dh, who is, by the way, now laughing his @$$ off at me swimming with a terrified look on my face! I now realize that the danger must be passed and take a brief moment to look back at the, once again, comfortably napping Hawaiian Monk Seal.

There you go...you've heard my monk seal story...I've once again humiliated myself in front of my dear bloggers and fellow designers...are you happy now??

:)

p.s. the moral of this story is .... don't be an idiot... when approaching a potentially dangerous wild animal, at LEAST have the sense to be more worried about HIM than you are of some yucky looking crabs... SIGH...

back to designing...safely...in my inflatable bed...